Unexpressed Feelings

Randomness

2012-01-25T23:37:00.000+05:30

The hipster said
“I’d like to light you again sometime
Like a pack of Marlborough cigarettes.”
Then he threw his cigarette to the ground,
And left her the same way he found her--
Lost to the night.
Her curls fell to her face,
Covering her eyes:
Black as the night,
Deep as the void inside...

Smiling while she dies inside

2012-01-25T23:30:00.000+05:30

Life is a fairground of thrills and excitements,
With disappointments along with the rides.
This beautiful woman lives life to the full,
But she's smiling while dying inside.
Oh! Beautiful woman, so kind and so generous,
You're allowed to be human , you know.
You don´t have to always keep the stiff upper lip
Brave face,.. best foot forward,...let's go....
Emotional death need not be final.
A resurrection of joy can be found.
A soul and a heart can learn to recover.....
Let someone in...let someone know you...
Don't waste your life pretending for others,
You have wings. You can soar.... You can glide....
You'll do it, for sure, though I know for the moment,
You're smiling, while dying inside.

City in vain

2012-01-25T23:28:00.002+05:30

Welcome to the city
This city is in vain..
My head...In flames
My eyes...On fire
I chose this pain
Welcome to the City..my name is Regret
I will be your tour guide this evening...
I see slight glimpses of your inner masochist....
when you smile at the pain you're feeling,
And you see hidden indications of my inner sadist....as I smile back at you :)

Loved again...Lost again

2011-10-31T20:20:00.000+05:30

And once again I’m here today ….writing my blog…expressing some unexpressed feelings for the person I wanted to express to…has left.

Didn’t I promise myself almost 3 years back…that I wouldn’t allow anyone but ANYONE to come close to me ever..to touch my heart. I vowed never to fall in love, but they say never say never…and just out of nowhere he walked into my life. Made me smile, made me laugh, made me want to believe in love again….made me believe I could be loved! His warmth, his care, his smile his touch….they all got together and broke the wall I had build around myself…blocking people to get close to me.

And then…just like others he too decided to walk away. And just like the last man in my life…he too left without telling me why! Why he suddenly didn’t wanna be with me…why did he suddenly cut all ties.... I cried n cried and begged him to stay for I still believed in all the dreams we had shared together of a future together……but my tears didn’t make a difference; he didn’t hear my cries…. Just left…left me all alone…back to where I was 3 yrs back…..confused, hurt, broken n shattered….holding pieces of my heart and faith…trying to hold on to the pieces for they kept piercing me and while I sit here n bleed…. He carries on with his life like I was a dream that came n went…

He broke me, he broke my heart, he broke everything! He turned my world upside down and inside out, BUT I know it was worth it for that one moment of love we had, it's a shame it went bad…Why did it?? I would never know…for he decided to be best friends with Silence! Don’t understand…wht is it about me that my love is never reciprocated? It hurts.

You have the right to leave someone. But at least tell them why, because what's even more painful than being abandoned, is knowing u r not worth an EXPLANATION!! 3 years ago someone walked out of my life in a similar manner…..3 yrs after… god repeats history for me! I’ve lost myself trying to be everyone's everything. I simply can't do it anymore. Have worn a mask so long, the face underneath is dead and rotten. I woke up again today, just like every morning for the last one week; with my heart hurting... it misses you. I don't know why. It should hate you for breaking it and making it miserable, but it doesn't. I still love u…

Something within hurts

2011-09-27T00:51:00.001+05:30

Perhaps, part of the reason why we hold on to something so tight for so long, is because we fear that something so great wont happen twice..It breaks my heart; it makes me sad to think of all the times we had..we laughed together at the crazy world we were surrounded by...we cried (OK..I cried and u stood by with a tissue box in hand)....

Sometimes you just gotta walk away, hold your head high, and pray to God they don't see you cry...coz your body and mind are so tired that it rather be game over than try again cos when i think the last tear has fallen & i can't cry anymore, a few more slide down my cheek & i know my heart is breaking.

I wish i was stronger...as strong as the world thinks I am....strong enough to walk up to a cliff top, not look down and let go of my body...in thin air...Surrender.

God must be 'SHE'

2011-08-01T18:52:00.000+05:30

Had an interesting conversation with a friend..AJ (as i love to address him), while i sipped my vodka this Saturday night..we were discussing books..a passion we both have in common.

Some how the conversation went towards God (!! lol we both don't really believe in HIM/HER) and here's what he had to say:

AJ: God must be a SHE
Me: lol..how do you know?
AJ: Well, everyone wants her, everyone thinks she belongs to him. She is vague & intangible

even b4 i could reply pat comes another bouncer...

AJ: She fucks everyone, she produces heart burns & orgasms...she is unpredictable..God has got to be HER
Me: (lol )AJ..the same can be applied to a HE you know , in-fact that's exactly the reason God has got to be HE :P
AJ: Nope..only a SHE would do it all and do it with such finesse!! ;)

Already a couple of large Vodka's down..this had me ROFL...uncontrollably.... and i was quite tempted to act like GOD then ;)

Some how that's the only thing i remember of that night..strange..whatever happened to the rest of the time at the bar??
can't remember...

Words worth remembering for a lifetime

2011-07-27T17:00:00.000+05:30

And I'm back to my blog today in the middle of a gloomy rainy day..sitting in my lil cabin @ work....coffee break...
Wondering about the past few days/months and how things have shaped up..or gone out of shape (put it whichever way)
No blame games happening...this life is what you make of it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth.

But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. Boys will be boys..God knows two of my best friends are boys and do i put up with their PMS'ing!!
But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them.

As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too.
And babv, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate.You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything.

Some one said to me the other day: "Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about :) "

I'm gonna take these words with me to my grave i guess :P ..so yeah, as a friend would say...Let the game begin :)

coffee break over..time to get back to work...*work* (now I could write a long blog on that too..on second thoughts..never mind!)

Have it all or Nothing at all..

2011-06-24T18:48:00.000+05:30

A real relationship has fights, trust, faith, tears, hurt, sweet smiles, genuine laughter, weird stupid unnecessary arguments, patience, communication, secrets, jealousy.....
Funny, how i have all those but not a relationship :)

Silence

2011-05-31T00:22:00.001+05:30

A thousand things to say...yet speechless
Realized today how silence has become normal between us..
Not the nice kind of silence, or the comfortable kind of silence.
But the awkward kind of silence, like between strangers.....

Hate it...hate the silence between friends
specially when it's between friends who you could talk to each other for hours....without thinking a thing in the world...without needing a topic..
Hate it...

Welcome Pain..

2011-05-26T01:40:00.000+05:30

Pain, I welcome you.
You are a constant reminder of my mistakes and failures.
But you're the only one that always tells me I'm just human for I can feel you....

Not knowing hurts more...

2011-05-19T00:25:00.000+05:30

Have you ever wanted to ask a question, but never really asked it?
Not because you didn't have the chance, but was scared that maybe...
the answer wasn't what you were hoping it to be.

And well, be too scared that your heart wouldn't be strong to take the un-wanted answer....
So you left it un-asked.
Though not knowing probably hurts even more than knowing the truth...

It's often said...

2011-05-17T00:37:00.000+05:30

It's often said, that no matter what the truth..people will see what they want to see
Some people might take a step back & find out they were looking at the same big picture all along.
Some people might see that their lies have almost caught up to them...
Some people may see what was there all along
And then there are those other people, the ones that run as far as they can...
So that they don't have to look at them self's

Begin Again

2011-05-16T17:00:00.000+05:30

I'm ready for repair

but I'm so tired of being inspired only when things slip away...

they told me time would strip it all free & leave me bone dry

they told me time would strip it all free

but I'm no better than when i left here the first time

............I'm ready to erase this............

I'm ready to begin : Again..

R.I.P 'A'

2011-05-05T03:14:00.001+05:30

I wish there was something I could do...i see my friend in pain..yet i can-not take it away!
i wish i could...

I wanna find the lost smile and give it back to him...
i wish i could...

I wanna bring back what he's lost...
i wish i could...

I never met his friend..never saw him..just heard stories ....
yet i grieve..tears well up in my eyes...i feel the loss

Sometimes watching someone you care for...struggle with their pain is more painful than dealing with your own...

R.I.P 'A' :'(

God bless your soul...

After-effects!!

2011-05-05T02:52:00.000+05:30

Oh…so it wasn’t easy! But yeah I did it..I confessed…Confessed to one of my best friends…..had to get it off the chest…took a risk…it’s not easy to confess the Achilles' heel in front of others….but then what the heck...I’ve never lied to him & I knew he won’t judge BUT, NOW I’m scared….scared of what he may think of me…scared coz he was silent…didn’t say a word..and the silence was killing…still is killing *phew*

I know him (or so I believe...he only let’s you know as much as HE wants too) and there’s this soft side of him that he keeps well hidden..but that’s exactly what made me open up…..and the doubts are now tiptoeing in the mind; like a lil baby wakes up and walks around exploring the house at midnight, reaching all corners possible….

Wait a min woman!! He is one of your BEST FRIEND! That ought to mean something…maybe all I need to do is sleep than fret...coz tomorrow he will smile and say..”happens with all of us” :)

My friends are right..i think way too much, even when it’s not needed..lol

Office Politics--What to Do, When to Leave

2011-04-19T16:41:00.000+05:30

When a group of people are stuck in each other’s company for 40 hours a week, week after week, there’s bound to be some gossiping and some friction. Fortunately that’s what most office politics is. But sometimes, it can turn into what my dad calls-- Productivity Poison!

Unfortunately in a small company, u are more prone to it.... it’s also entirely possible that management staff is part of the problem. It could be that they are oblivious to the problem because there is no "HR structure" to report the issues too or the so called HR is just plain dumb and won't move n inch without "approval" (??), or it really dosen't make a difference to the mamangemnt as long as no one's resigning (yeah ryt..that's common..wht did you think..you are indispensable?? Haha )

So here's what you got To Do & know when To Leave

If you find yourself targeted in vindictive office politics, what should you do?

Try to stay above it. Don’t let your energy be diverted away from work and into pointless battles.
You can’t win so don’t try. Nobody actually wins when office politics spins out of control. Nobody comes out of it looking good. (thought ofcrs if they get too personal, don't think twice about getting the swords out..everyone has a skeleton hiding in the cupboard :) )
Don’t take it home. Easier said than done, but try not to bring the work stress home. Don’t let it pollute the rest of your life.
Do your job. It’s a lot harder to make you look bad, or lazy or ineffective if you continue to focus on doing your job and doing it well.
Know when to walk away. If the politicking doesn’t stop and management continues to be oblivious, look for a new job. Don’t force yourself to stay in an unhealthy situation out of pride.. No matter how much you love working in that place, no matter how much of hard work you have put in...nothing is worth giving up ur self respect and peace of mind!

And if you do get possessed by the devil himself...leave no stone unturned...nail the bast***s !!

Time to get back to work again...see you guys around :)

Hold back...

2011-04-16T22:56:00.000+05:30

i wanna die i wanna bleed i wanna cry but all i can do is just keep walking with a smile on my face and pretend the wounds aren't there.....see you can always hold back the tears and keep yourself sane- until someone asks if you're okay, that is....

:)

2011-04-15T00:18:00.000+05:30

I stood still, vision blurring, and in that moment, I heard my heart break. It was a small, clean sound, like the snapping of a flower's stem....

Yes..I'm a Girl

2011-04-13T22:49:00.000+05:30

Yes I'm a girl..
I push doors that clearly say PULL
I laugh harder when I try to explain why I'm laughing..
I walk into a room and forget why I was there...
I count on my fingers while trying 2 do math
I lie sometimes to hide the pain
I cry a lot more than you think I do
I'm not so strong as my smile seems to be
I get attached to people who care even a little about me
A broken nail can be as painful as a broken heart
I say its a long story when it's really not
I fall in love too hard too fast..
Then take time to move on..
Hoping that I'll find someone who does care next time and life will change for good.
Yes, I'm a girl.. And there are somethings about a girl you can never change!
And some precious things u'd rather not...

BITCHOLOGY - FINALLY - Someone is bitchy enough to say it like it REALLY is!

2011-04-12T17:45:00.000+05:30

BITCHOLOGY (A friend shared this with me...and I just HAD TO share it on my blog for anyone who dares to be truly what they are!!)

When I stand up for
myself and my beliefs,
they call me a
bitch.

When I stand up for
those I love,
they call me a
bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts
or do things my own way, they call me a
bitch.

Being a bitch
means I won't
compromise what's in my heart.
It means I live my life MY way.
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and
speak against it, I am defined as a
bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for
myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish..

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I 'should' be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, just try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch, so be it.
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle 'anything'
'If you can't do something right, get a woman to do it.'

Thanks Farah for sharing this :))

After some time

2011-04-01T23:25:00.001+05:30

After a while you learn...

The subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn...

That love doesn't mean learning and company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn...

that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept...

Your  defeat with your head up and you eyes open,

with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child,

And you learn...

To build all you roads on today

because tomorrow ground is too uncertain for plans.
After a while you learn...

That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,

instead of waiting for someone else to bring you flowers.


And you learn...

That you really can endure,

That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.

It's Good To Be ME

2011-01-09T23:43:00.000+05:30

Life has been a routine… a lazy Sunday today has made me open this page again to ponder on how life's been... Sad but true. We urban monsters can no longer differentiate between weekdays and weekends.... the days blend smoothly and meld into a 7 day, non-stop week with zero time off for self.... leisure... chilling. When we are not on our laptops (I refuse to get a Blackberry, thou the Nokia E63 is as bugging), we are frantically texting. It is a disease - I recognize the symptoms.... but realize I am a terminal case. Like millions of others.

Frankly life seems to be a blank page…or too routine for anything different to pop out!! :) Strange especially when u think abt the events that have happened… there are loads of fantastic moments that come alive...have had to let go of some friends as they embarked on their personal journey away from me (in pursue of great career’s)…..to having found back old friends who left me because other relationships in their lives had no space for me...I've celebrated and lived each moment like a gypsy woman…literally!!

I started living again….finally…thou the shadows still linger in some corners…corners that have been left alone…I don’t let the mind or heart wander into those corners for the better part of the day’s J Half a decade on still lumbering between thoughts…Sifting through all the time, Conflating moments…It's me, growing into the permanent spaces, unoccupied…I'm watching the sun re-possessing and capturing the floods….The rainbow still finds me alive and growing. ...Although gloomy…like you would be eating cherry flavoured antacids…hahaha

I’m back…and it’s good to be me :)

Girl In The Mirror

2010-12-26T20:30:00.000+05:30

There's this girl in the mirror, I wonder who she is. Sometimes I think I know her and sometimes I wish I did. There is a story in her eyes, lullabies, and goodbye. When she's looking back at me I can tell...she's hurting inside

She smiles with all that she has left, yet tears are left un-dried. And though she's got so much to say, she bottles it up inside. If you look past her broken eyes to a shadow no one sees, a disguise so you won't recognize, the girl is really me...

Comical RockeTalk Addiction Department

2010-09-08T15:33:00.000+05:30

The 76-year-old woman walked down the hallway of Addictions Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed signs for the "Heroin Addiction Department (HAD)," the "Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)" and the "Bingo Addiction Department (BAD)." Then she spotted the department she was looking for: "RockeTalk Addiction Department (RAD)."

It was the busiest department in the clinic, with about three dozen people filling the waiting room, most of them staring blankly into their Nokia’s, Sony Eriksson’s & Blackberries. A middle-aged man with unkempt hair was pacing the room, muttering, "I need to refresh the status now."

A twenty-something man was prone on the floor, his face buried in his hands, while a curly-haired woman comforted him.

"Don't worry. It'll be all right."

"I just don't understand it. I thought my media post was LOL-worthy, but none of my friends even rated it, forget about sharing into a community!!"

"How long has it been?"

"Almost five minutes. That's like five months in the real world."

The 76-year-old woman waited until her name was called, then followed the receptionist into the office of Dr. Chatback, RockeTalk Addiction Counselor.

"Please have a seat, Julie," he said with a warm smile. "And tell me how it all started."

"Well, it's all my grandson's fault. He sent me an invitation to join RockeTalk and connect with him for free. I had never heard of RockeTalk before, but I thought it was something for me, because I usually do complaint of excess phone bill trying to keep in touch with my grandson, who btw is in India these days.”

"How soon were you hooked?"

"Faster than you can say 'create a profile.' I found myself on RockeTalk at least eight times each day -- and more times at night..Darn their talk shows…they are so addictive!! Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night to check it, just in case there was an update from one of my new friends in India. My husband didn't like that. He said that friendship is a precious thing and should never be outsourced."

"What do you like most about RockeTalk?"

"It makes me feel like I have a life. In the real world, I have only five or six friends, but on RockeTalk, I have 674. I'm even friends with Satan Baba (guess he perches Satanism)."

"Who's he?"

"I don't know, but he's got 4,00 friends, so he must be famous."

"RockeTalk has helped you make some connections, I see."

"Oh yes. I've even connected with some of the gals from high school (I just searched for them with their phone numbers from my phone book) -- I still call them 'gals.' I hadn't heard from some of them in ages, so it was exciting to look at their profiles and figure out who's retired, who's still working, and who's had some work done....They still sound the same.....ahh something’s don’t change!! I love browsing their photos and reading their updates. I know where they've been on vacation, they share videos all the time…live from the mountains also AND I’ve been playing a game with some of them :P"

"Let me guess. You got Farmville on RockeTalk too?"

"No, not that dumb game, it’s what the Indians call Antakshari (sing songs that start from a particular alphabet"

"Wouldn't you rather meet some of your friends in person?"

"No, not really. It's so much easier on RockeTalk. We don't need to gussy ourselves up. We don't need to take baths or wear perfume or use mouthwash. That's the best thing about RockeTalk -- you can't smell anyone. Everyone is attractive, because everyone has picked a good profile pic. One of the gals is using a profile pic that was taken, I'm pretty certain, during the College Graduation. "

"What pic are you using?"

"Well, I spent five hours searching for a profile pic, but couldn't find one I really liked. So I decided to visit the local beauty salon."

"To make yourself look prettier?"

"No, to take a pic of one of the young ladies there. That's what I'm using."

"Didn't your friends notice that you look different?"

"Some of them did, but I just told them I've been doing lots of yoga."

"When did you realize that your RockeTalk might be a problem?"

"I realized it last Sunday night, when I was on RockeTalk and saw a message in my inbox from my husband: 'I moved out of the house five days ago. Just thought you should know.'"

"What did you do?"

"What else? I removed him from my friend list of course!"

A Note to no-one

2010-08-30T23:12:00.000+05:30

Sometimes I wonder how you could have held me and not cared, how you could have kissed me and not loved me, how you could have walked away without looking back...

You ought to know I love you, you ought to know I care. I ought to know you love her, and that I don't compare. But she is just a fantasy, with whom you'd like to be, while I'm a mere reality, the one you'll never see. :)

What do we want Freedom from?

2010-08-13T17:23:00.003+05:30

“Freedom from What?” RockeTalk ‘India Flash Survey’

As India celebrates her 64^th Independence Day, RockeTalk conducted another “Flash Survey” on its mobile social network, trying to find out what it is that Indians still want freedom from.

Politics: Freedom from What?

Since politics (besides sex) is believed to be the most important topic of discussion in the country, it was the first area people were quizzed on. “Freedom from Corrupt Leaders” topped the charts with nearly half the respondents wanting politics cleaned up (Could it be the effect of Common-stealth Games?).

Religious Groups and Old fogies tied on the second place with 18% of the people wanting them out of our political system.

India Verdict: We want freedom from corrupt, aging bigots in politics.

Movies: Freedom from What?

Movies are the lifeline of the Indian spirit. We live Friday to Friday, from one release to another. So when an Indian says he wants his movies free from something, it’s serious stuff.

44% of the people want freedom from ‘copycat movies’ – read ‘remakes’, ‘inspired movies’, ‘this-or-that-language versions’. And 25% of the respondents want to throw censorship out of the proverbial window (who said Indians don’t like taboo?).

The surprise was the fact that 15% of the people wanted freedom from ‘song and dance’ – Indian cinema’s signature style. On the other hand only 7.5% wanted freedom from star-kids (who are no more kids anyway).

India Verdict: We want freedom from copycat movies and moralizing censor-boards.

Cricket: Freedom from What?

Cricket threw up some surprises.

Evidently, Indians don’t mind IPL or even betting on cricket so much. What has them really miffed is ‘selector politics’!

46% of respondents wanted freedom from politicking selectors in cricket. Match-fixing came a distant second with 28% voting it out of cricket. Test enthusiasts can breathe easy because only 8% showed dislike for it.

India Verdict: We want freedom from slimy cricket selectors and if possible match-fixing.

Education: Freedom from What?

This may ruffle a few feathers, but 45% of the respondents want our education system free from any reservation or quota system.

16% were unhappy with the marking system, followed closely by 15% who were angry with ‘strict teachers’.

Some flexibility in the Indian education system seems to be wanted, as 11% voted for freedom from ‘age limit’. People might want to return to education later in life.

India Verdict: We want freedom from quota systems in education.

Work-place: Freedom from What?

This is the place you spend half your life in. We asked people ‘What is it that India wants freedom from at the work-place?’

A neat 50% answered ‘low pay’. With aspirations rising (and expenses), the number one priority at the work-place is money. And people are unhappy.

The hard-working Indian also seems to be demanding more quality time for leisure, as 27% of respondents wanted freedom from ‘too much work’.

The favourite whipping horse is always the boss. Poll response also seems to suggest the same: 11% wanted freedom from this professional villain.

India Verdict: We want freedom from low paying jobs.

Sample size of the survey: 11,500

Respondent Demographics
Male: 8,400, Female: 3,100
Metros (Delhi, Mumbai, Chennai, Kolkata): 17%
Non-Metros: 83%

Survey conducted on the mobile social networking application RockeTalk. To download, please visit http://m.rocketalk.com

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Get freedom from your phone bills! Download RockeTalk and answer a simple question and win a month's worth of Free GPRS!!

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You Are Not Alone

2010-08-11T23:10:00.000+05:30

When the walls that surround are silent

& solitude weighs like a storm

As u search for a shoulder to lean on

Remember you are not alone

When loneliness lowers its shadow

And the voice that you hear is your own

Though nobody seems to be listening

Remember you are not alone

When each face in the street is a stranger

And the path that you tread is unknown

Be guided by faith and conviction

Remember you are not alone

Whenever the doubts that assail you

However your dreams may bring you down

Make courage your constant companion

Remember you are not alone

This one's for you baby :)

2010-08-07T17:13:00.000+05:30

You always wish it is over, but when it is....u wish it wasn't over anymore...so this song is specially for you baby :)

Chk it out
http://youtu.be/KT6EBGuoGAA

Meghna

Domestic Violence

2010-05-14T00:25:00.000+05:30

While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man wishing he could talk softly in her ear... While you HUMILIATE,OFFEND and INSULT her, there's a man flirting with her and reminding her how wonderful she is. While you HURT your woman, there's a man wishing he could make love to her. While you make your woman CRY there's a man stealing smiles from her. Share this if you're against Domestic Violence!!

just a thought...

2010-05-14T00:17:00.000+05:30

If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is... it's not enough :)

Readerspost.femina

2010-04-08T14:50:00.001+05:30

Readerspost.femina

Posted using ShareThis

Facade

2010-04-01T19:11:00.003+05:30

Everyday for the past year,
I been using a mask of a smile, constantly hiding my tears.

Every night, as I lie in bed,
I always wonder why I'm here, what I could have done, what I could have said.

Every day that passes by I try to help and be a friend,
But almost every day, I only wish it was the end.

I want to make my parents, friends and family proud and not just look down,
So every morning I put on my mask of a smile, and try to hide my sagging frown.

Whenever the mask might happen to slip off and fall,
People are angered, and say I have nothing to be sad about at all.

But they don't know the truth, and they probably never will,
Until today, the mask is always on still.

The only time left when my mask isn't on,
Isn't a time of day, but at night before dawn.

Every day I need to put on the mask and make people never see,
But if I do that, will I ever again be truly happy?

But can it be possible that this mask of a smile will become real to me?

I guess I'll just have to wait and see...

Leaked MMS On RockeTalk!!!!

2010-03-31T16:53:00.000+05:30

Earth Hour at RockeTalk

2010-03-29T19:20:00.000+05:30

Deep Down

2010-03-28T00:22:00.003+05:30

I'll never let you see,

The way this broken heart is hurting me,

I've got my pride ,

And I know how to hide,

All the sorrow and pain,

I'll do my crying in the rain...

A Memory

2010-03-17T17:21:00.000+05:30

In this city that has no end,
Around the corner I have a friend

The days go by and weeks rush on,
And before our eyes, the moment's gone

And I never get to see his face,
For Life's a swift and cryptic race

He knows I miss him just as well,
But does he miss me? It's so had to tell

You see how life is a wretched game,
A dire street without a name

Around the corner, yet miles away
For all you knew, he may have dies today

And that's what you may get in the end
Around the corner, a perished friend

So say what you gotta say, before it's too late
Just want you to know, you've been my best mate

I'd wish you would always be my friend
But it'd be your choice in the end

Let Go

2010-03-03T19:08:00.000+05:30

Sometimes you gotta runaway;
So you can see who will run after you.

Sometimes you gotta talk softly;
Just to see who's listening.

Sometimes you gotta step up in a fight;
Just to see who's by your side.

Sometimes you gotta make a wrong decision;
To see who's there to fix it.

Sometimes you gotta let go of the one you love;
Just to see if they love you enough to come back

It’s a Women’s World and it is virtually true!

2010-02-24T23:44:00.000+05:30

Charlotte Whitton, a Canadian feminist once said, “Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.” All women will agree with what Charlotte said and know what she meant when she added “luckily, this is not difficult”. Women adapt easily.

Initially women were considered unscientific or un-technological, engaged with the wider social relations which constrained women choices and opportunities, they had to put up a good fight to prove themselves at par with men.

The battle of femininity and masculinity extends to the technology scope as well and often women have broken down the male bastion of technology. Women technologists always had to face the impediments of a male-dominated capitalism; male prejudice, attitudes and relations within families, society. But, time and again women they have proven their mettle be it in the skies flying a fighter plane, mountaineering, inventing things like the circular saw, the car heater, or a disposable cell phone! Yes, women have shown that they also know their way around…hammers, spanners etc. A woman’s entry was seen not only as a matter of individual advance but as a means of gaining control for women collectively.

The juggling act that the majority of working women perform today gives rise to a set of technology needs that are generally quite distinct from those of men. And therefore opinions have been voiced in favor of woman-specific orientations of technological change.

Representing the changing paradigms in social thought is the internet, and advanced mobile technologies that offer instant communication capabilities and provide a platform to connect to friends and family, an emotional need that is intrinsic part of a ‘Woman’. Studies have proven that women have moved onto the Internet in big numbers – there is a steady rise in their presence currently, women spend an average of six hours per week online vs. nine hours for men. Even though men may be spending more time online, women are more active and show advanced online behavior as compared to men.

Women tend to build stronger support system than men, they like to stay connected with each other , earlier it was more of shopping trips and coffee breaks or for that matter kitty parties, but with the increase in number of working women the gossip of kitty parties has shifted to cyberspace …the access to networking portals and mobile networking applications such as Facebook, Twitter, Orkut, RockeTalk etc. have opened up a whole new world for women. They use new communication technologies to nurture relationships. They blog , exchange tips on health, recipes , makeup, relationships, career and all the things that are part of a woman’s universe either on internet or on mobile phone and slowly but steadily they are creating their own space in the technology world.

Cheers to Women and Technology!!

Image: Getty Images

True Unexpressed Feelings

2010-02-21T00:22:00.000+05:30

An old one..just posting it now..the meaning changed with time somehow...

He is the captor of my heart,
He is the treasured prize,
He is the one I love
My man and my king.

My man so beautiful,
Inside and out,
My man has taught me lots of things,
Like what my life's about.

He is my man,

My confidant and friend,
I will love my man,
Until Earth is at it's end.

I promise to be noble and true,
And your protector too,
I will stand by you forever,
Or as long as you want me too.

Dear Blog

2010-02-14T21:29:00.000+05:30

Old wounds re-opened..fresh one's formed...history repeats itself exactly after a year..14th Feb...

Wierd ways of Life!

2010-01-22T00:30:00.004+05:30

Why is it so hard to get what u want in life...? and after u go through all the struggle and finally do get it... its not as valuable anymore..
u begin to question it... was it worth all the pain..
the hard-work..
the hours of thought.. maybe not!

This is when it hurts..it all looks so nice from far away .. but as it comes closer..its not that good anymore.. its a dirty game that life plays with us.. and there is absolutely nothing u can do about it... except sit there..and strive to achieve and then
when u do get there... rarely feel good about it.. and more often feel rotten
and crib about all the time u lost playing this futile game.....

But then it's not always a game...this one isn't. It's for real...it's what I want...what I need...darn it..it's difficult!!

Sometimes it hurts more to smile in front of everyone, then to cry all alone. When everything is bottled up, u reach a point where u just want to burst out and cry. And there are days I do that...its good for the soul...Society?

Society can go screw itself, no one is continuously happy and smiling unless they are on drugs or some sort of stimulant. Every emotion needs to expressed regardless of it ...negative or positive.. I am unique, my own person. Just because everyone is jumping off the bridge, it doesn't mean I should either.. I hate uniformity.

In any case, where was 'Society' when I was falling apart? When I roamed the streets on my own? The wind dried my tears...Society didn't wipe it...So yeah..all society people can go screw them self's or get screwed (whatever their choice)

If I believe in something I shall not change that just because they don't believe in it. If I love someone I will not stop doing that, just because they think it's wrong! I'm not perfect, I never claimed to be. I do not wish to be a porcelain doll all perfect yet cold. I'm human..I shall remain so...

Intresting Wedding Invitation

2010-01-12T18:49:00.004+05:30

This is the sample of a wedding invitation I recently received ...sure explains why I'm still single :D

"MARRIAGE IS A TRIUMPH OF IMAGINATION OVER INTELLIGENCE"

Now that at 27, it seems that my intelligence is at all time low. I decided to marry without realizing where it leads to.

Suddenly,

there is a spate of happenings...

the phone bill shot up...

my free time is thing of past...

my hangouts are long forgotten...

dhabas to candle-light dinners...

night thrillers to temples...

and

I AM FEELING GOOD ABOUT IT!!!!

Anyways, she is xxxxxx , joining me for dream life together.

So, my dear friends, I would like you to around on the occasion, Try to make the visit so that you can cheer up by meeting your old buddies and cherish the time with each other. Take this opportunity to enjoy some time from your hectic life and remember some old memories along with blessing the couple.

DATE: January 16th 2010

TIME: 08:00 PM

VENUE: Lajpat Bhavan, Moti Jheel , Kanpur ( U.P.)

Please find the attached Marriage Card. For any query call me ASAP on - 09818xxxxxx(anytime)

Please consider it as my personal invitation.

Love

-Another victim of fatal attraction towards marriage

Titbits From My Book

2010-01-09T19:28:00.004+05:30

She hated it, yet she smiled her whiskey glass secure in her hand, she made animated conversation with a man who was making a documentary about ‘Gay's in India’. She listened, she never heard a word, and she was waiting. Wondering how he could be used. For her advantage. That’s the only thing she knew...how to use people. Isn’t that exactly what other had done to her?

Another Chapter:

It was late in the morning for the old man to be sweeping floors; the staff had already walked in. The office reeked of disinfectant. She walked in, with her little business bag in hand. The old man welcomed her with a bright smile and wished her “Good morning” in a higher-than-usual tone. Heads turned and all acknowledged her. She was back after a week. Some hated her, some lusted behind her. Pleasantries were exchanged. But one man didn’t turn. He didn’t have to.

The minute she had walked in, he had known who it was. He smelled her perfume from a distance. He knew it like it was his own. And try as hard as he could, he couldn’t help but remember the time when he had smelled it on her skin...it always reminded him of all the times. He knew better than others...he knew the smell of her skin, the taste of those lips, painted a bright red at this moment. He could imagine his own lips over those red ones...

A sound close to him got him out of this mad charade. She was standing right next to him. She smiled at him, the special smile...she had only for him. Suddenly she frowned, remembering something that she had meant to ask him. Should she wait for others to move away or ask right now.She was impatient...she wanted an answer now. She bent towards him and whispered the question in his ear. He didn't hear a word! All he felt was her breath on his cheek, close to the ear...he shivered

More will follow...these were just some hand picked lines from my book :)

Random Thoughts

2010-01-09T19:12:00.002+05:30

Wonder what the solution is...or have I already found one but yet to see it for myself? PM says, it's there...inside of me, I just need to clear my head to be able to see it. PM knows me well, known me since ages...sharing the same sun sign also helps :) Bull headed idiots...that's what they call us!

Will he...Won't he........that's a big question mark.
He says he is tied down with commitments... she is helping him accomplish them. Then what? She is helping him run away from reality...reality that he has faced already and can live with too...only if she would leave him alone and not poke her f*****g nose in it all the time!! She will hide him from the world forever. He believes he belongs but would be misplaced in the darkness of no man's land.

The planning is on...wonder how far they reached.

He need not run, he knows that. Deep down he doesn't want too. But has no alternative...or so he believes. If only she would let him see his choices. Damn it!! Why can't she let us have what is there in our destiny...why is she taking it away from us? Is it because she wants it for herself? They always wonder what's going on between the two, there are whispers behind walls...she knows it and so does he.

I'm yet to find out...Will I ever know?

I must ask him...he told me before, I believed him then...will I believe again? He had her picture in his phone...once...Why did he click so many of them...She...she clicks his pictures on pretext...he doesn't even know...or does he but indulges in her lil fantasies that she has?

What a shame...he is a lil kid...let the kid be! Can't she use someone else for her fancy...for her need of an emotional hanger? Haha she has T, but she won't go to him....T is another person, another class. Poor T :( having to live with this crazy woman who has nothing better to do but lust behind a kid! Oh how I wish times would change soon and he would grow up fast to understand :(

My Summary of 2009

2010-01-05T02:03:00.004+05:30

The last year (2009) has been hectic and to some extent baffling, so far... life is being garrulous... throwing away realizations at me, at a break neck speed.. one after the other...such effusiveness!! It scares me some times...

so many emotions....Frustration, pain, angst, fear, glee, exuberance and all that is part of growing older... wiser and cynical...

Meeting new interesting people... losing old friends... the ones you thought were there forever... learning to live without love... feeling less... talking more.... getting insecure about the future... hitting an all time financial low then growing strong again... and most of all becoming more independent. The realization, that sometimes even your friends won't be there for yo when you need the.... learning to live without people you think you cant live without... working harder... making compromises... living for yourself and listening to others....

So many things to do... so little time....

One thing I'm yet to learn...learn to stop loving....

Dreams or Nightmares

2010-01-03T02:46:00.002+05:30

She looked over her shoulder,
He was reduced to a fading shadow in the dark night.
She wished to stop him but her tears chocked her voice.
He felt relieved, he was free.
Free from commitment.
Something died in her, as life struggled to survive in her womb.

A Long Wait

2009-12-22T00:53:00.004+05:30

I've trusted many a friend that failed,
And left me to weep alone...

I've dreamed many dreams that never came true,
They seem to vanish at dawn...

I've drunk from the cup of disappointment and pain,
I've gone many days without song...

They don't understand
They never did
They never will...

Miracles Happen??

2009-12-20T23:09:00.005+05:30

They say Miracles Happen
They happen to those who Believe

I believed I was loved,
I wasn't

I believed I had a true friend,
I didn't

I believed they would care,
They didn't

I believed my heart won't break,
It did

I believed they wouldn't use me,
They did

I believed all was not lost,
It seems it is

I believed they would accept me,
They didn't

I believed...
Now it's as if I don't believe in Believing

But somewhere deep within
I still believe in You

I still Believe in Me..

Somewhere deep within
a child, a lover, a friend, a daughter, a woman
is waiting for a
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Miracle to Happen :)

Silly lies that keep us going

2009-12-20T23:01:00.001+05:30

A gift from my cosmic mother

2009-12-11T19:33:00.004+05:30

J Mom...I call her my Cosmic Mother...so full of emotions.I won't write much about her coz I don't have the right words that can even begin to explain this wonderful woman... And a beautiful writer..

This is what she recently wrote for me to pep me up :P so I couldn't help but share it with all of you ....

Attitude, attitude, that’s all that matters.
Attitude Don’t bow, eat crow, screw gratitude
Smile, give, be so- nice? No latitude.
Speak your mind. No, its not rude
Its all about the attitude.

Be like me. Be free, free free.
A butterfly and a bumblebee
Soar like an eagle, scrape the skies
Wear no masks. Who needs disguise

Do what you want, its your life.
Are you a ninny playing a fife?
I’m old, not grey. I’m feisty and fey
I smoke and I drink, I think-think –think

Beauty is brains, have a beautiful mind
You’ll leave the bimbettes way behind
Be clever forever, juggle your words
Hunt with the wolves, fly with the birds
Enjoy, bring joy, you’ll never grow old
Listen to me. Do what you’re told.

Thanks J Mom :) Love you lots...

I scared the cops with RockeTalk!!

2009-11-26T18:40:00.005+05:30

So I always thought RockeTalk is a social networking application and you all know how I keep going on and on and on about it being free, and fun and how’s there’s so much to do. But at the end of the day a lot of people still thought it was a waste of time, or meant for those who actually had spare time to connect with strangers…and since they were all too busy with their boring jobs, hence they did not have time for it. But I just discovered a good use of RockeTalk! I used it to actually scare the cops and get my car back from them, which they were not ready to return earlier.

It so happened that my poor driver got stabbed on sat night or Sunday morning…(whatever you wanna call that) right outside our house by the famous Delhi goons (you find them everywhere, esp in winters at night). Seems all they wanted was some quick money, lil did they know that the guy who they are stabbing for money had only 200 bucks in his pocket and his cell phone in hand. Yet the poor kid got stabbed twice in the stomach and twice in the back…uuggghhhh... :(

So obviously we rushed him to the hospital to keep him alive…and all the time blood trickled down his clothes like you would have left a tap open someplc…it was the most horrifying thing I had ever seen in my life! No bollywood movie, horror books, mafia games had prepared me for what I was seeing in front of me :( …anyway, the guy in question is ofcrs safe now but when he was hospitalized , we had to follow the regular procedures. The much dreaded FIR had to be logged etc etc. Somehow every time the cops get involved in something, they end up creating a useless mess of it. In this case, the duffers thought of keeping my car under their custody (for evidence) coz it had my driver’s blood all over the back seat. I had a hard time explaining that my car was not involved in any manner, and the only reason it had blood all over the back seat was because I had pushed the guy on the back seat while I drove him to the hospital, but freaking idiots didn’t wanna listen and looked at me as if I was the one trying to cover up something! So fine, go…take the damn car! They did say I shall have it back before I woke up the next day so….

And 4 days went by with me going to the Police Station everyday 3 times to get it back. Excuses, excuses and more excuses to keep my car under custody without having a appropriate reason or any paper work. Just the fact that they were cops (huh!!) was enough for them, BUT not for me. So I kept ranting and then finally spoke to this cutie in my office who loves getting into trouble and out of it too. And he gave me this super idea that actually worked.

This morning I went to the station, (the cops had gotten used to seeing me walk in now, no one bother to look up as to what I want), I went straight to the SHO (yeah finally the jerk was sitting at the right place) and DEMANDED my car back! He looked at me with those have-you-lost-it eyes and then I sat down calmly and had a word with him:

Me: Do you know what I do for a living?

SHO: (Rolling his eyes, thinking oh gr8, she’s gonna throw attitude now) No madam , but I do remember we have met b4, ur uncle told me you work or a mobile company.

Me: Not a mobile company, it’s a mobile application. It’s the easiest way of staying in touch with your friends and making new ones all over the world.You shoot and send videos too you no!!

SHO: (completely clueless where this was getting)

Me: Let me show you. (I gave him a rundown of RockeTalk)

SHO: (After 5min)…nice (he still had the I’m-lost-u-crazy-woman look on his face)

Me: Let me give you a demo (I pointed the camera at his face and strtd recording)

Me: Hey wait, I came here for my car (camera still rolling), forget all this. You guys don’t have a reason to keep my car. It was not involved in the accident. There’s no official paper work signed that says you have the right to keep my car wid you. And I want it back now. If you don’t give my car back I will drag this issue to the papers!

SHO: (Smirking) Bada garam khoon hai? thanda karo. Meri office mein aap mujhe ko dara rahey ho. Aap ke uncle ki wajha se chup hun, warna darwaza dikha deta!

Me: (wanting to kick him in the balls, but keeping my cool) Sir, thanda to aap ka pura station ho jayega jab yeh video, jo ab tak ban raha hai, who mein ek networking application pe post karungi aur world over aap famous hongey. Not just that, it will automatically get posted to You Tube, and ofcrs, Indiatimes walo ke liye aachi gossip hogi.

So now if you have a legal reason to keep the car, say so, if not, I’d like to have the keys back, now, I’m getting late for work you see (giving him a nice smile, didn’t wanna push him wid the attitude bit, freaking bastards can’t be trusted)

SHO: (after thinking for complete 3 min…walks up to the constable) ye black Wagon R ki chabi kahan hai?

Constable hands out the keys and drops it into my extended hand.

Me: (turning to the SHO) Thank u so much. In case you need any help regarding the case we shall help out. Not that there is much to say. Bye

SHO: Nahi madam, aap log ka to koi lena dena he nahi is se. Aap mat pareshan ho. Hum dekh lenge.

And I happily walked out with my car keys, came back home. Gave it to the neighbor’s driver and told him where the car was parked. By the time this blog is gonna go up, I believe my car would have gone off to the workshop for clean-up and a change of the upholstery!! No more blood stains!!

Since 4 days I was going crazy running from pillar o post to get my car, and all I had to do was threaten the cops by taking a video and tell them that it gets posted on a social networking application and they behave! Wow…thank you RockeTalk :) Love you even more!!

PS: The cutie from office who gave me this dramatic idea, is the same person who sometime back called me a drama queen!! Well, I guess the drama pays off at times, huh?

What Do Angels Look Like?

2009-11-17T01:23:00.003+05:30

Read this some place, so just had to share with all....

What Do Angels Look Like?

Like the little old lady who returned your wallet yesterday.
Like the taxi driver who told you that your eyes light up the world, when you smile.

Like the small child who showed you the wonder in simple things.

Like the poor man who offered to share his lunch with you.

Like the rich man who showed you that it really is all possible, if only you believe.

Like the stranger who just happened to come along, when you had lost your way.

Like the friend who touched your heart, when you didn't think you had one to touch.

Angels come in all sizes and shapes,all ages and skin types.

Some with freckles, some with dimples, some with wrinkles, some without.

They come disguised as friends, enemies, teachers, students, lovers and fools.

They don't take life too seriously, they travel light.

They leave no forwarding address, they ask nothing in return.

They wear sneakers with gossamer wings, they get a deal on dry cleaning.

They are hard to find when your eyes are closed,

But they are everywhere you look, when you choose to see!!

Strange, I've been looking for long...still haven't come across one! Well, I hope you guys find your angel.

Love

BRA Codes!!

2009-11-15T01:25:00.004+05:30

Have you ever wondered why Bras are letterted A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, H ?

And how the letters are actually used to define Bra sizes?

Well, in case you've forgotten, here's a revision for you...

A= Almost Boobs
B= Barely there Boobs
C= Can't Complain
D= Darn!
DD= Double Darn!!
E= Enormous
F= Fake
G= Get a Reduction
H= Help needed to Hold them UP!!

So there you go, now..

Girls- Don't forget to get a mammogram
Guys- Now you should be able to help your GF/Wife/Both in shopping!!!

:D :D

Someone Dedicated a Pome To Me!!

2009-11-14T13:57:00.002+05:30

Something that I wasn't really expecting happened, and brought a genuine smile on my face. So obviously, it gets posted as a 'Post' here on the blog, that just stay in the comments section.

Thank you for the lovely words :)

A poem dedicated to Meghna:

Intelligent, yet unpretentious
Demure, yet saucy
Classy, yet spunky
Elegant, yet mischievous
Delicate, yet resilient
Centered, yet universally curious
Spiritual, yet realistic
Feminine, yet strong
Involved, yet not obsessive
Serene, yet passionate
And, pretty darn cute.

Had to get it off my chest!

2009-11-13T00:58:00.004+05:30

Every time that biatch comes online on the application, all I wanna do is kill her.....

All she has is 1 friend in her friend list...and now that you made the mistake of telling me..I know she comes online just to send more sleaze your way...and to many others about whom you have absolutely nooo idea..coz of-course she says her lil 'private love videos' are "for ur eye's only"!!! WTF... if she's soo addicted to sex why not just do something about it...Mumbai is a BIG city..she will find her kinds at every nook and corner!!

What a woman!! I hate to even call her a woman!! She is a sleaze bag full of her own shit..that's all!! i don't claim to be a sati savitri but hell, I don't make sleazy videos of myself and post them all over a social networking application and claim to be in love wid someone!!! HAHAHAHA...What a pc of shit!!

If she ever makes the mistake of coming to my blog..she will know this one's dedicated to her!!

And I care a damn what anyone reading this blog thinks..coz you no what? It's my blog and I have the right to put in whatever I want! Period

How Long Is A Minute??

2009-10-29T03:15:00.002+05:30

How long is a minute?
60 seconds, stupid, obviously but how long does a minute feel?

A minute waiting a minute watching TV

a minute watching your child/mother/friend suffer

a minute at work, at 4:59

a minute making love a minute having sex (yeah there's a difference between the making love and having sex for all of you who didn't no that!!)

a minute lying on a sunny beach, drunk

You get the point...right
How long is a year?
How long is a life?
Can a nineteen year old have lived longer than an eighty one year old? Subjectively speaking or is that absurd?

To quote a cigarette ad “it’s not how long you make it, it’s how you make it long”

And it's killing when I walk up-to you and ask for answer's and you answer after a min..it's too long...

So has been this year...I can't believe it's coming close to be an year that we parted ways...I left early from work today...each min was killing me...wasn't today the day that you met her for the first time an year back??

It all started on this date...an year back...the lies, you going away with her...and within a week of this day...my life twisted forever...I haven't been myself ever since...the tears still haven’t dried, the heart still hasn’t stopped aching...wanting...loving. The mind still has your image stamped on it...the body still remember each touch, each shiver, the feel of your breath on my skin, your fragrance...sometimes in my dreams your fragrance still lingers on my body...my spirit...

Nothing changed inside of me...atlst not my feelings...the mind still thinks of you, conjures up images of you, the heart still aches for you, cares for you, worries every time you get hurt...the body shivers every time you come close...nothing changed, yet everything did!

A year! It still feels like yesterday, when you said goodbye...7^th Nov.....a date I’m not likely to forget for the rest of my life...we ended our relation, our friendship...for what? A superficial relation that didn’t even last 8months...was it worth it I wonder??

:) Only you know the answer...an answer that you will never admit to me or even to yourself...but one day if you read this...sit back and think...was it worth giving up someone whom you considered your ‘clone’ your ‘best friend’ for someone who never really loved you the way you deserve to be loved!!

To all Anonymous

2009-10-25T14:26:00.002+05:30

Dear All Anonymous,

Lately I've been receiving a lot of comments from you..know I don't no if you are just one person..or different people.I get a lot of comments on my blog, some I accept-some I don't. Mostly coz they are either too personal or too nasty to be published and I wanna keep my blog free of both.

So i have a simple rule from now on...I will NOT accept any comments frm 'anonymous' no matter what! I shall reply to ur comment thou, for sure..but you know what ppl...I'm tired of thinking who is this Anonymous who is reading my posts, understanding my feelings and yet not having enough courage to put a name at the end of it...Well, you no wht, if you don't have the guts to leave your name at the end of your comment then your comment doesn't deserve to be here on my blog.

It sure sounds rude and arrogant, but I wanna think about my peace of mind first before I think of your convenience!!

Ofcrs, there's just one and ONLY ONE person who I'm allowing to be anonymous..coz I already know who she is..yeh baby..You know I'm talking about you..M...you will always get that special plc in my heart and on my blog :)

See you all soon enough

Love.

I Am Not Perfect

2009-10-22T03:50:00.005+05:30

I am not a perfect person,
And I don't try to be.
I am just another imprisoned soul,
That is longing to be set free.

I don't want to be in this place anymore,
I don't want to shed anymore tears.
I'm sick of always hiding inside of myself,
This has gone on for too many years.

I don't want to show my emotions,
Or to tell you how I feel.
I just want to know the difference,
Between what is fake and what is real.

I'm just another lost soul,
That is waiting to be found.
I'm just another liability,
That you don't want around.

I'm just falling through the air,
And I'm about to hit the ground.
But I don't expect anyone to catch me,
Because no one wants me around.

No one really cares about me,
They just ignore me everyday.
No one really cares enough,
To even ask me if I'm okay.

All you want is plastic perfection,
So how could it ever be?
As I'm not a perfect person
And I don't try to be.

Paranoia

2009-10-22T03:44:00.003+05:30

The night is my cover,
The day, my disguise,
But I just can't seem to escape,
From wondering,judgmental eyes.

They're always watching and waiting,
For that moment you turn your head,
It makes me feel uncomfortable,
While I'm lying in my bed.

I shouldn't leave my house,
Or maybe even my room,
Because they're lurking in every shadow,
Waiting to drop the bomb of doom.

I can't help but avert my eyes,
When I receive an unsteady glance,
They're judging me, I know it,
They'll make fun of me at every chance.

Did I do something wrong,
I don't have a doubt in my mind,
The truth is that in this world,
Sanity is so hard to find.

Copyright © Meghna

10 Things You Can Do With Rocketalk

2009-10-11T21:53:00.010+05:30

If you are ready to move out of Stone Age but aren’t quite sure why you should switch to RockeTalk, read on:-

1. You can download pretty much everything you want in your mobile- ringtones, wallpapers, videos, latest movie trailers, greeting cards etc.

2. If you don’t want to clog your mobile memory with large downloads, you can simply watch videos online and save in your ‘Private Gallery’ within RockeTalk for the later viewing.

3. Share photos of your recent holidays with the rest of the world. You can upload them in the Gallery or even mail it directly to your friends email ID’s.

4. You can make videos and upload them directly to You Tube, saving you from the hassle of uploading on to your PC from the camera and then to You Tube.

5. You can listen to your favorite songs on RockeTalk. The Radio RockeTalk, RT_FM and various other communities takes care of that part.

6. You can send free voice msg to friends/family in any part of the world, cutting down on your phone bills. Family not on RockeTalk?? Simply push voice msgs to their email ID’s.

7. Want to keep friends and family detached? You can use 2 different ID’s on one mobile unlike any of the IM messengers that lets you login with only one ID.

8. Don’t want to give up on IM? You don’t have to. RockeTalk gives you a selection of 5 IM’s under one roof. Choose from G Talk, Yahoo, MSN, AOL or ICQ or log in to all at the same time.

9. Want to win goodies bags? Take part in the RockeTalk contests and win weekly or monthly prizes. New contest each week!!

10. Got a business streak in you? Advertise with RockeTalk! It helps you promote your product/campaign/ service to their data base of a million users. And it’s cost effective too!

Now if you still aren’t convinced to be on RockeTalk maybe be you were made for the Stone Age itself!! LOL

My Love

2009-10-11T21:48:00.001+05:30

Love is like a lump of gold,
Hard to get, and hard to hold.
Of all the guys I've ever met,
You're the one I can't forget.
I do believe that God above,
Created you for me to love.
He chose you from all the rest,
Because he knew I would love you best.

Please don't go

2009-10-10T00:22:00.001+05:30

Please don't leave me.
Please don't say goodbye.
Please don't go away.
Please don't let me cry.

I'm standing here alone
watching you go
holding onto a whispered goodbye

I'm standing here alone
watching you go
trying so hard not to cry

Last Light

2009-10-08T01:24:00.002+05:30

It is dark in this place
Once filled with hopes and dreams
It is now only hatred and pain
I am on my own side

Everyone else stays in the light
They are filled with happiness
While I am filled with anything but that

No one is with me
No one will ever be
They are happy, I am not
They will never understand me
Nor will they ever wish to

I can not blame them
I would also want to remain happy
But I have forgotten how
I don't know how to go back to the sunshine
I only know rain and night now

I watch the moon
It is my only friend
It understands and listens
Though it never talks to me
It helps me throughout my life

It is my last light
My last light of hope, dream, and my one love
And that shall never die out

Breakdown

2009-09-30T02:15:00.004+05:30

Tears falling down my cheeks,
Whats happening to me?
I used to be so strong,
but lately I feel so weak.

All the stress brings me down,
It gives me no choice,
I cant seem to speak my mind,
I just can't find my voice.

More cuts end up on my wrist,
Something else I got to hide,
The smile I used to have,
now hides behind the other part of me,
the person I pretend to be...

...so you don't see my tears,
I fight all my fears,
I can't show emotion,
So I store it all inside...

But it builds up,
I breakdown,
I have to cut myself to let it all out.
The pills numb my pain,
puts the stress off to the side,
and when I bleed it all out,
I feel better inside.

Moments

2009-09-30T01:51:00.004+05:30

Imagine if I was given one moment,
just a single slice of my past.
I could hold it close forever,
and that moment would always last.

I'd put the moment in a safe,
within my hearts abode.
I could open it when I wanted,
and only I would know the code.

I could choose a time of laughing,
a time of happiness and fun.
I could choose a time that tried me,
through everything I've done.

I sat and thought about what moment,
would always make me smile.
One that would always push me,
to walk that extra mile.

If I'm feeling sad and low,
if I'm struggling with what to do.
I can go and open my little safe,
and watch my moment through.

There are moments I can think of,
that would lift my spirits every time.
The moments when you picked me up,
when the road was hard to climb.

For me to only pick one moment,
to cherish, save and keep,
Is proving really difficult,
as I've gathered up a heap!

I've dug deep inside my heart,
found the safe and looked inside,
there was room for lots of moments,
in fact hundreds if I tried.

I'm building my own little library,
embedded in my heart,
for all the moments spent with you,
before you had to part.

I can open it up whenever I like,
pick a moment and watch it through,
My little library acts as a promise,
I'll never ever forget you

When you are gone...

2009-09-22T00:54:00.004+05:30

"Baby, there are soo many things that I wanna say to you, but I can't...coz I guess I'm just not strong enough to face you..or the rejection that might come my way..so I'm just gonna put it all out here, and I'm hoping that someday before you leave you would reach this blog and read it..."

I miss you
I want to be with you right now
I wish i could kiss you before you leave
I know that you don't love me anymore..u never did
But i love you so much its just really hard to explain

I know you're the only person I love
But I don't know if I'm one of the person's
You loved
I wish I didn't doubted
About this anymore

I know I'm gonna miss you when
You're out of town
I hope that you don't forget me
While you're gone

When I think about u, my eyes seemed to glow,
When I dream of u, I hope for no tomorrow.
To be with u right now is all that I wish
Coz it is really u whom my heart will miss..

Emotional Flu

2009-09-21T17:36:00.002+05:30

I've realized whether you are having an argument with your boyfriend/girlfriend or tying to reason out with your colleague..you present the major portion of your communication through your emotions, not your words.

Say the wrong thing or miss an emotional cue and you can goof up big time. i believe, people who manage their own feelings well and deal effectively with others are most likely to live content lives. Plus, happy people are more apt to retain information and they do so more effectively than dissatisfied people.Such people use their 'Emotional Intelligence' (EI)

Whereas some people avoid feeling their emotions than using their EI..I call that the 'Emotional Flu'.Here are some classic symptoms of Emotional Flu:

* Ignoring your feelings

* Pretending something hasn't happened

* Overeating

* Excessive drinking of Alcohol

* Exercising compulsively

* Any type of compulsive disorder

* Always keeping busy so you don't have the time to think about anything even closely related to 'Emotions'

* Keeping conversations superficial

* Burying angry emotions or masking them

I have no problems in admitting that yes, I do have the Emotional Flu...just sit back and think..do you have the Flu too????

Without Words

2009-09-19T23:11:00.002+05:30

I write for the same reason I breathe
If I didn't I would die
Without words to express myself
Life is a broken winged bird that can't fly

I write my soul down word for word
I write things I could never say
Without this method of expression
I would cry every day

I try to forget all the regret
Or else life is mine to miss
Without saying what I truly feel
Then I'll always stay like this

So I write for the same reason I breathe
It's so that bird can fly up to the sky
I need to rise higher and higher
And finally stop asking why

Forgotten...by the one who claimed to care

2009-09-16T22:44:00.003+05:30

I am forgotten in this world of judgmental

I can do is repent

I am forgotten in this world of pain

It's filling my life with a constant rain

I am forgotten in this world of suffer

Age exploding my mind with rage

I am forgotten in this world of mine
with nothing left behind

I am forgotten in my soul
leaving me shivering and cold

I AM FORGOTTEN....

All Alone...

2009-09-16T22:26:00.000+05:30

I float in a pool of darkness
Cold presses in on me
I am alone
Floating aimlessly
I reach for sparks of hope
But rather than warm
They only burn

I ache with sorrow
I hunger to leave
To escape
To leave this prison
I crave to be free
To be heard
To be loved

I Want...

2009-09-14T19:50:00.003+05:30

I want to be a lost poem in a stranger's coat pocket that conveys the importance of you,
To assure you of my desire,
To assure you of my dreams.
I want all the possibilities of you in writing.
I want to give you your reflection.
I want your eyes on me.
I want everything before you to follow us
And leave a trail behind us.
I want never to say good-bye to you,
Even on the street corner nor phone.
I want. . . . . . I want so much
I'm breathless.
I want to bring my power in a poem to burn a hole in your pocket,
So then I could sew it.
I want you to be distant and feel you close.
I want endless days when its day,
And nighttime never to end when its night.
I want all seasons in one day.
I want the sun to set before us,
And come up in front of us.
I want to think you're thoughts,
Because they're mine.
I want only what's urging you.
I want to get in the way of your barriers.
I want you to be tender like you do already.
I want to say we meet for a reason,
And I want that reason to be bigger then us,
And I want it to take over us,
I want to forget,
I want to remember us.
I want your smile always,
And your grimace's too.
I want your scare on my lips,
I want your disappointments in my heart,
I want your strengths in my soul,
And your soul in my eyes.
I want to believe everything you say,
And I do.
I want you to tell me what's best,
When I don't know.
When your lost,
I want to find you and drag you from the darkness.
I Want........

Another Day

2009-09-11T18:20:00.003+05:30

Another day passed by...

Another dream broken...

Another hope died...

Another day will come again...

And Life goes on...