And once again I’m here today ….writing my blog…expressing some unexpressed feelings for the person I wanted to express to…has left.
Didn’t I promise myself almost 3 years back…that I wouldn’t allow anyone but ANYONE to come close to me ever..to touch my heart. I vowed never to fall in love, but they say never say never…and just out of nowhere he walked into my life. Made me smile, made me laugh, made me want to believe in love again….made me believe I could be loved! His warmth, his care, his smile his touch….they all got together and broke the wall I had build around myself…blocking people to get close to me.
And then…just like others he too decided to walk away. And just like the last man in my life…he too left without telling me why! Why he suddenly didn’t wanna be with me…why did he suddenly cut all ties.... I cried n cried and begged him to stay for I still believed in all the dreams we had shared together of a future together……but my tears didn’t make a difference; he didn’t hear my cries…. Just left…left me all alone…back to where I was 3 yrs back…..confused, hurt, broken n shattered….holding pieces of my heart and faith…trying to hold on to the pieces for they kept piercing me and while I sit here n bleed…. He carries on with his life like I was a dream that came n went…
He broke me, he broke my heart, he broke everything! He turned my world upside down and inside out, BUT I know it was worth it for that one moment of love we had, it's a shame it went bad…Why did it?? I would never know…for he decided to be best friends with Silence! Don’t understand…wht is it about me that my love is never reciprocated? It hurts.
You have the right to leave someone. But at least tell them why, because what's even more painful than being abandoned, is knowing u r not worth an EXPLANATION!! 3 years ago someone walked out of my life in a similar manner…..3 yrs after… god repeats history for me! I’ve lost myself trying to be everyone's everything. I simply can't do it anymore. Have worn a mask so long, the face underneath is dead and rotten. I woke up again today, just like every morning for the last one week; with my heart hurting... it misses you. I don't know why. It should hate you for breaking it and making it miserable, but it doesn't. I still love u…
5 comments:
Meghna,
I feel so sad. May I request you to kindly do not lose hope. Please do try to think it over with unattached mind why this could have happened. It may not be easy but it is not difficult also. If he is gone, it shows he did not deserve a caring girl like you. Hope you do get happiness which God will surely send your way soon.
Take care
Oh Jack! There is no hope now...I'm done 'trying' :)
God is not sending anyone anything my way...and I've accepted that now.
btw, thanks for the Diwali wishes...could not respond back in time as i was unwell and saw your email very late...hope u had a good time.
thats my story:/...
hope you'll be better(:
@ Diego: awww i hope u feel better too...i no how it feels :(
Guyz :( This poem is like some one reading my heart :( Same thing happened with me 3 yrs ago and even now :(
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